Missing the Good Times with SAH
Author: JustMe
I’ve been doing well lately – at least in terms of feeling good. I’ve gone to movies, hung out, keeping myself busy. But no matter what – I still miss the good times I had with SAH. I need to remember the bad times too. It’s easy to get down, wishing that we were still friends and all that. But you know – I know that he calls up the phone sex lines while being married and even has a child on the way. I keep telling myself – is this really the type of person that I want in my life. How can someone get such a hold – that no matter what – you miss them. It just isn’t logical really.
It’s not like he’s going to change really. I went to go see Blind Side the other day with KP. That was an awesome movie. I know that SAH had seen it and loved it. I wonder if it reminded him of me. You may be asking why. Well you see, I’ve taken in people who were in a bad situation into my house. Now I didn’t have the resources or anything to do what happened in the movie, I guess I did what very few people would do. SAH knows about this. See the first time was when I was managing my mother’s store after she died. A person, I think he was 18, kept coming into the store. The one day we talked and he hadn’t eaten in days, he had no money and no place to stay. I told him to come back at closing time and i would figure something out. Well at closing time he came and i decided I would let him spend the night, get a shower and then I could take him to the shelter for help the next day like he said he wanted. In addition I also ended up getting him a change of clothes too – so we went to the store and got underwear, jeans and a shirt.
There was another episode a couple of years ago that I did something similar. SAH always said that he didn’t know if he has what it took to do this. Anymore though – I wonder if SAH has it in him to care about anyone or to just do something out of pure kindness without expecting anything in return.
I know I’m a good person. I know I’m smart. So why do I let the assholes bother me? Why do I wish SAH was back in my life? I really miss the good times. Did we really have good times though.
To be honest, I try to put things in perceptive. SAH andI were very close friends, at least from my viewpoint – whether it was mutual or not. But then I think about what people who actually marry someone like this must go through. How hard is it for them? I have other friends that I enjoy doing things with. Like I said I’ve gone to the movies this week actually a number of times. I saw Brothers, Blind Side and Avatar. I went over to KQ’s house. She just got a puppy. We went out to eat several times. So how can I have people in my life and still feel alone?
